The Black Kiss: A Complete Guide to Rimming

Rimming has a dozen names, a long shadow of taboo, and a surprising number of quiet enthusiasts.

Analingus in the textbook, a rim job in the bedroom, the black kiss in the older romantic slang. Whatever you call it, it is one act: the mouth, lips, and tongue on a partner's anus. People search it nervously and discover, often to their surprise, that the nervousness was the only obstacle.

Rimming is oral-anal contact: a tongue and lips on and around the opening of the anus. The reason it feels so intense is anatomical. The anal opening is dense with nerve endings, more concentrated there than across most of the body, so even light, soft contact registers vividly. It can be given to a woman or a man, the toolkit is the same, and it is very commonly paired with a hand or mouth on the genitals at the same time, which is where much of its reputation comes from.

In a large national study, around four in ten women reported finding pleasure in external anal touch, the category that includes a partner's mouth. Surveys that ask specifically about oral-anal contact find that a meaningful share of women have tried it at least once. The act sits well inside the range of ordinary, even when the culture still treats it as a confession.

Almost nobody admits that hygiene is the reason they hesitate, and almost everybody means it. The honest answer is simple: a shower beforehand handles it. Warm water and soap on the outside, a few minutes, done. For most people on most days that is entirely enough, and the people who do this regularly are not performing elaborate rituals. If you want extra confidence, timing it for after a bowel movement and a rinse covers it. The fear is bigger than the logistics.

Oral-anal contact can transmit intestinal bugs and some sexually transmitted infections, because the mouth and the anus are not a sterile meeting. A barrier, a dental dam or a cut-open condom laid flat, removes nearly all of that risk if you want it, and is especially worth it with newer or non-monogamous partners. One firm rule that costs nothing: never go from the anus to the vagina without washing in between, because that transfer causes infections reliably. None of this is a reason for fear. It is the information that lets you choose on purpose.

Once the nerves and the hygiene worry are handled, rimming is mostly patience, a soft broad tongue, and paying attention to the person receiving. Our full guide to how to eat ass covers the technique in detail: the seal, the pairing with genital touch, giving it to a woman versus a man, and how to relax into receiving it. If you are exploring the whole territory, the anal guide covers the wider world of anal pleasure with the same frankness.